Hey – we may as well have fun as we go sliding into old age, right?

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Boomer Men Behaving Badly…

[I’m back!  For those of you who are not subscribers or regular readers, that doesn’t mean much.  But my regulars know that I’ve been on an unannounced and unplanned hiatus for a couple of months.  It all started with vacation, then a writing project that went awry, some major research projects at my “real job” that left me uninterested in sitting in front of my home computer, a new puppy that consumed much of my free time (more about her another time), and on and on and blah, blah, blah.  Sorry.  Once you drop a good habit, it’s hard work to pick it back up again.  But I’m back – I promise.]

Apparently, it’s hard difficult to be a man.  Much harder more difficult than we women ever imagined, I guess.  Who knew that that their entire lives appear to be driven by their “family jewels”?  Do men really just go through life looking for women to jump into bed with, or if not that, then to make sure that women are lusting for and flirting with them?  And the women don’t have to be (or preferably are not) their wives.  You remember wives, don’t you?  That woman you proposed to, professed your love for, and exchanged wedding vows with?  There are all kinds of jokes about guys thinking with their penises.  But did we ever suspect that it was true for so many of them?  Should I just assume that every man I talk to is looking around for a “fresh score” somewhere? 

Don’t get me wrong – I am madly in love with my husband and I trust him implicitly.  But how can I not become cynical about the male gender in general after watching the news over the past few years?  The circumstantial evidence is overwhelming that men really can be pigs.  And complete idiots.

While President of the United States, Bill Clinton (married father) cavorted in the White House with interns and cigars.  Ew-w-w-w-w.  Former Nevada Senator John Ensign (married father) had an affair with an aide (she was also married), and paid off her and her husband to keep it quiet (idiot).  California state legislator Mike Duvall (married father) got caught on a live mike bragging to a fellow legislator about spanking one of several girlfriends (idiot).  Former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer (married father) was well-known “client 9” at an upscale prostitution service.  Louisiana Senator David Vitter (married father) frequented brothels for years (and still got re-elected).  Former Indiana Congressman Mark Souder (married) had an affair with a staffer.  Former New York Congressman Chris Lee (married father) sent a ridiculous shirtless photo of himself to a woman he met on a Craigslist dating ad, trying to hook up.  Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (married father) vanished for days and was discovered to be in Argentina with his “soul mate” lover.  He lied to everyone, including his closest aides, about his whereabouts and claimed to be hiking the Appalachian trail (idiot).  Former North Carolina Senator and presidential candidate John Edwards (married father) cheated on his dying wife with a member of his staff (no pun intended…), had a child with her, allowed her to parade around visibly pregnant during the campaign, and encouraged another staff member to claim to be the father (idiot and slimebag). 

Arnold Schwarzenegger (married father who’s both a celebrity and politician) had a pregnant wife and pregnant mistress at the same time (don’t tell me he didn’t know the married housekeeper was carrying his child).  That’s about as low as it gets.  Can you even imagine how Maria felt finding out 12 years later that she’s been friends with this woman and child, and all the while the woman and her own husband were keeping this terrible secret from her? 

And now it’s the Weiner.  You just can’t make this stuff up.  New York Congressman Anthony Weiner (newly married and possible father-to-be) took lewd and ridiculous pictures of himself and Twittered them out to young women/girls, and carried on flirtatious text conversations with them (idiot).

What else do these guys have in common, other than being married political scumbags?  They’re all Baby Boomers (Lee and Weiner were born in 1964 – the last year of the Boomer generation).  I’m not suggesting that Boomers invented infidelity, but our men certainly seem to have perfected it.  At least the generations before us were discreet.  But our men, especially our politically-driven men, apparently don’t know the meaning of discretion.  They seem to just lose all common sense in their desire to be seen as attractive to younger women.  They can’t be satisfied with buying a sports car or motorcycle like their dads did to feel younger and manly.  Nope – they’re preening in front of mirrors and taking pictures of their foolish half-naked selves (and their bulging underwear) and sending them out on social websites.  IDIOTS!

I suspect it’s less about the actual act of sex (although they certainly seem to be obsessed with that, too) and more about ego.  These powerful men seem to have very fragile self-esteems, and they have a need to feel that they’re virile and sexy.  They want to be desired.  By every woman on the planet.  The younger the better.  I think they also get turned on by the illicit factor of these affairs, and by the flirtatious nature of the communications (“Oo, I want you baby!” “You’re so hot!” “I can’t wait to [bleep] you!”).

Now, Boomer women admittedly have egos, too.  We spend millions on beauty products and cosmetic surgery in order to feel and look younger than we really are.  We want to be seen as attractive.  And yes, some have had indiscretions.  But we usually want to be attractive to that guy we married, not to the 21-year-old college kid down the street. 

Guys (and gals) of the Boomer Generation – – – we’re growing older.  Deal with it with at least a little bit of class, will you please?  Boinking college co-eds isn’t the way to do it.  Waxing your chest and sending pictures to women who are not your wives isn’t the way to do it.  Having babies with women who are not your wives is DEFINITELY not the way to do it.  If you can’t control your sexual urges, then be honest with yourself and your spouse and become single again so you can run around and boink anyone you want without hurting your family. 

And for crying out loud, politicians – STOP SENDING PICTURES AND TEXTS!  You’re running around with bimbettes, and guess what – bimbettes are called that for a reason.  They’re stupid.  And they’re going to brag to their girlfriends about boinking a senator.  They’re going to save your texts and pictures to share with their BFFs.  And the next thing you know, you and your family are on the evening news for all the wrong reasons. 

Better yet – just stop being idiots.  GROW UP, keep your whizzer in your pants, and stay faithful to your spouses.

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